DEFINITION OF TERMS:
God’s Will:
The belief that a couple was perfectly chosen by God.
God’s witness:
The belief that a couple was not perfectly chosen by God but though married
should not divorce because God hate divorce. It is an indirect way of saying
the couple are not God’s will.
Lifer: Member of
Deeper Christian Life Ministry.
LM: Deeper Christian Life
Ministry.
I
am opportune to be born a Lifer. I am a post NYSC graduate and by expectations
I should get married soon. This expectation has increased the number of advice
and admonition I have been receiving on marital issues. Amidst the advice, I
found a correlation that arouses my analytical mind, ‘marriage in LM equals
God’s will’
Is
it LM that makes my marriage God’s will or...? This query of mine had led to
this write-up, which weeks to find answers that last. I know this is not
peculiar to LM because no organisation is perfect.
This
write-up is not about marriage, denominations, how to choose God’s will in
marriage, marriage of non-lifers, marriages in other denominations, your ideal
partner but an honest query as to how lifer qualifies marriage. What qualifies
a Lifer’s marriage as God’s will or
God’s witness:
Because
the wedding was held in LM!
Because
you go through LM marriage committee!
Because
you are match make by God!
I
am strongly persuaded that the third option is the perfect option. I cannot
give a confirmatory assertion to a marriage as either God’s will or God’s
witness except the couple involved though am not neglecting the possibility of
confirmatory revelation from other sources but am of the subjective opinion
that the couple are the best respondent to whether their marriage is God’s will
or God’s witness.
Over
my few short years, I have witness some marriage ceremonies. I have heard the
assertion this is God’s will when a lifer marries in LM and sometimes this is
God’s witness when a lifer marries in another denomination. I am not giving
myself a clean sheet on this sceptical reasoning because I used to be of this
opinion myself but my inquisitive mind has queried this opinion as unfounded. A
church should not qualify or stamp a marriage as God’s will or God’s witness
but rather God.
The
marriage ceremony of a family friend that I attended of lately; who is a lifer
but did not marry in LM has necessitated the penning of this write-up.
He
is a fine young man raised in LM and by God grace a Christian (many attests to
his Christian lifestyle). He is a lifer till date but did not marry in LM. His
profession allows him the opportunity to convene LM programme at the group
level; his dad is one of the pastor in the group and he was a potential pastor
that will soon take over the baton from our fast aging parents. When his
wedding was announced, (It was not announced in the church, we were family
friends and got an IV on that basis) I saw the shame, shock, regret, betrayal
and embarrassment in some lifers’ eyes who are mostly the leaders in the group.
They knew the young man and his family and were expecting a LM marriage because
‘marriage in LM equals God’s will’ or perhaps what could have led to the great
and surprising embarrassment among the leaders eyes.
My
memory at this point was quick in reminding me of my personal ambition of
marrying a lady from LM (because of my personal idea of raising my children in
a home where parents belief are in unison and not differentiated) and also
ensuring that the marriage ceremony was done in another denomination. I am in a
dilemma.
I
was at this point determined to attend the marriage ceremony and have a fore
taste of how my marriage will be classified, if not done in LM.
At
the wedding, I saw dejection amidst the dancing, shame behind the shine in the
eyes of some lifers that were in attendance, almost all the lifers wished he
had married in LM. I am not challenging that feeling because it is expected but
the aftermath of classifying the marriage as God’s witness because it was not
in conducted in LM is my line of objection. I asked myself some questions
during the marriage ceremony:
Do
you mean this young man did not acknowledge God before choosing his life
partner?
Do
you mean God did not assert this marriage?
Do
you mean if I marry a lady that is not a lifer then I have made a mistake in
marriage?
Do
you mean if I did not go through LM marriage committee then my marriage is
God’s witness?
These
questions bring to my mind a movie I watched, titled: our family wedding. One
of the line in the movie reads ‘our marriage their wedding’
I
know parents dream about their children marriage ceremony and wish that the
children will actualise those dreams but when such dream are not actualised,
should we sentenced the children to an eternity of shame and condemnation with
the infusing emotions that they have make a grave mistake in life all because
they never wedded in LM? (Am not supporting unequal yoke but arguing on behalf
of christian marriage between lifers or one lifer and someone from another
denomination, whose wedding ceremony was conducting in another denomination apart
from LM).
Now
we are on earth and we see through a glass that is dark but when we get to
heaven we will see clearly but it is on earth that I will marry not in heaven
and my question is, what qualifies a marriage as God’s will or God’s witness?